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| Dear Bryce,
I'll miss you. A lot. You know, you were the one I most looked forward to when I went home every time. Sure the parents were cool but its hard to deal with them after being free at college and being given chores. Brett I talk to enough that I don't need to see him in person. I don't think I've lost a loved one before, sure my uncle died when I was young but he had alzheimer's for a long time and I never really knew him.
Here's to you, Bryce, The sly dog who managed to escape the deck twice, snatch food off the kitchen counter, and always cleaned up after us. Here's to all those fries I shouldn't have given you, all those bones you enjoyed for way too long, just chewing on them lazily. Here's to all the people whose pillow you served as, the mail and garbage trucks you chased, and the one guy I could always count on for smiling at me.
Here's to how short life is, how often we should be thankful for what we have.
Love,
Shawn
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| Today, instead of sitting around and debating what to do, we went out and did something. We grabbed some snacks, food, and the cars, and we proceeded to drive towards the mountains. We took a stroll along a mountainside, drove through narrow, dark roads to a forest of redwoods, only to hop out of the car to take a picture hugging them. We drove through more random, narrow roads to end up in Santa Cruz where we grabbed dinner and watched the sun disappear behind the clouds.
I love it.
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| Two funny events happened today. One I caused, one I observed.
1. I decided to get my guy friends who are taken a gift for Valentines, kinda like a kit for Valentines Day. This package of essentials was tic-tac's (for bad breath), a good chocolate bar (because everyone likes chocolate), a red bull for a long night, a handcrafted bar of soap (from soapier) and a pack of condoms. David actually gave them back and said he didn't need them or plan on using them. Best awkward gift ever.
2. Kelly was about to walk out of the KFC we were at, but stopped short of just going through the door. It's a simple glass door with a push bar at the middle to open it. Instead, Kelly stops, examines it, apparently tries to open it, and fails. The couple next to us just went past her and opened it and left. Basically, Kelly couldnt open a door. All the JSA officers got a good laugh out of that. | | |
| Dear Self,
You are doing a better job this quarter. I've liked a couple of things.
1. You try more. You actually studied for that midterm yesterday. JSA is on the upswing (I hope) and friends have been seen more. You've been to the gym twice this week already.
2. You've grown more. You learned from two rough experiences with friends. Let's leave it at that. (If you are curious, give me a call/IM)
3. You are working at yourself. Giving up one bad habit a week has been productive. So far its been soda gone for good, with video games and browsing being cut back, and alcohol only for special occasions.
I've got one more thing to tell you. Value your friends more. Don't worry about relationships, classes, appearances, or video games. Those will come and go. Friends stay with you much longer. Find friends who value you for who you are, not what you are. Find friends who are honest to your face. Love them dearly, and make sure they know you care.
That is all,
Shawn | | |
| I need to write more. It helps get my thoughts out.
So far, this quarter I took dynamics, machine design, fluids and thermal physics. In school, I really didn't try very hard but my grades did not suffer. It feels like my teachers never really pushed me, nor did they really care that everyone was cheating on homeworks (and some tests). I feel that the education system is catered for the average student, whether they exist or not. This student would study for several hours a night, go to every class, try hard and get a decent grade. However, those do not exist. I slack and need to be challenged. The rest of the class needs better examples, not just always working on HW before we get the lecture. You'd think the teacher would delay the homeworks by a day so we would stop turning in HW on the day's lecture the day he talked about it.
But enough about school. School sucks. The reason I feel that my quarter was not successful is that I did not achieve much in my personal life. I did not make many new friends, I got annoyed at some of my current friends, didn't keep in touch with my high school friends much, and even stopped calling home as much. Indeed, I got to the point in my relationship with several friends where I saw them for the annoying things they did, not the positive. Meh.
I also realized that my friends are boring. They don't do much. Even when I want to do something, they don't want to go out. I'm the one driving. Even when I do something fine, some people find fault.
At times, i just don't feel appreciated. I try hard, I think I'm a nice friend, maybe a little critical, but I don't feel like I get the respect I deserve. Sometimes people see me for what they want me to be, not who I am. | | |
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RedSharkSt